Poems - Creativity in Words

I think about you so much,
so many times I wish you were here.
Wanting you to give me wise words,
so I can let go of my fear.

I hear the others talking,
losing my own, is what I see.
Back into my shelf,
I don’t want to be me.

I want to be your ‘little girl’,
to hear you say my name.
Wanting to show you everything,
or to see what I became.

I want to be happy with who we are and what we have,
but it doesn’t matter anymore.
I learned to be silent about things,
now I’m disliked therefor.

I guess I’m terrible,
sometimes I hate myself for all I do.
But I know you will stand behind me,
dad, I really do miss you!

Torn by my own feelings,
I crawl between the narrowing walls of desperation.
Feeling the heat of the ceilings,
I give up and cry out in frustration.

Losing myself in this war,
I’m looking for a place to hide.
Trying to remember who we are,
I’m attempting to recall the moment I died.

Messing up my remaining common sense,
I’m figuring out what to do.
Approaching the end without any defense,
I want you to know my last thoughts will be of you.

Fatigue numbs my body,
desperation conquers my mind.
My feelings are cheap and shoddy,
Wish I could leave it all behind…

Tired of waiting.
Waiting for you.
Got myself hating,
whatever I do.

I’ve done my best,
I’ve done all I could.
Apparently, I’m not up to the test.
Lets end this for good.

However, words are words,
and feelings are feelings.
They are like birds,
they both have different dealings.

It’s my strength,
it’s my weakness.
I wish I could,
but I can’t,
give up.

You’re still on my wall,
in my thoughts everyday.
Like to speak to you again,
knowing that day will come in some way.

It’s even harder these days,
with all those joyous faces around me.
I’d like to know what you’re thinking,
is there something you want me to see?

Everyone makes mistakes,
even I do, I have to admit.
But I will keep the promis I made,
even if you can’t remember it.

I will see you in the future,
love to talk to you someday!
You will always be there in my past,
you will never fade away.

How far can I go?
How long can I last?
I’m taking blow after blow.
They’re coming way to fast.

Bended over in agony,
I reconsider my options.
Love should be a felony.
Who the hell made these adoptions?

I’m reaching the end of the line.
I can’t hold on much longer.
I’ve reached and fallen off cloud number nine.
And on my way down the panic’s growing stronger and stronger.

Will I be caught?
Or will I smash to smithereens?
In a moment of a thought,
you can be erased from all screens.

Can’t make up my mind.
I’m sorry to disappoint.
You’re all to kind.
But I’m reaching my breaking point.

Doubts tearing me apart.
From the soul to the heart.
Am I really so blind?
Have I really lost my mind?
Do I see things that aren’t there?
Am I pretending I’m the lost heir?

Torn by emotions I try to find my way.
But the path is well hidden, at least for today.
Tomorrow, the path may be clear.
She’s waving at me: Come on! I’m here!
The next moment, she pushes me away…
I’m ending up in a hopelessly unordered array…

I don’t know what to do.
I’m her friend, but at the same time her foo.
Why is it so hard to get what I want?
I can do everything, but still there’s more I can’t.
They say time will tell, and I guess they’re right.
But waiting is the hardest part, I don’t want to lose the fight…

I’m losing myself.
Can’t think clear.
I’m going to fast,
I think I’m going to crash!

Nothing is good enough,
every downside overrules the upside.
Darkness everywhere,
falling deeper and deeper…

There’s this ray of light,
slashing through the void.
I’m trying to catch it,
but it’s slipping away.

I’m lost.
Waiting to be found.
Do I want to be found?
Just leave me here.

FUCK the world!
FUCK everything!
FUCK everybody!

Cut this goddamned crap and get a life!
Throw it all away, you’ll never make it alive!
For fuck sake, leave me alone!
Go away, there’s nothing here, nobody’s home!

Don’t talk to me, ignore me, I’m not here!
There’s a small line between agression and fear,
so don’t do it, don’t push me!
Things aren’t as they used to be…

Fuck it…

Bidding starts now.
Arise and take the vow.
One demolished soul,
totally out of control.

Take it or leave it.
It probably won’t fit.
So dare to take the chance?
Ready to drop all common sense?

A short description:
Fallen apart.
Broken into pieces.
Crumbled to dust.
And blown away,
by the sweet sensation of agony,
into the depths of oblivion.

No one?
To much at stake to come undone.
Think again, be clever.
Before it will be lost forever.

I see your face,
I hear your voice.
Can’t get you out of my head,
But it has never been a choice!

I love and I hate you,
You come and you stay.
I will fight you tomorrow,
and want you today!