Poems - Creativity in Words

I think about you so much,
so many times I wish you were here.
Wanting you to give me wise words,
so I can let go of my fear.

I hear the others talking,
losing my own, is what I see.
Back into my shelf,
I don’t want to be me.

I want to be your ‘little girl’,
to hear you say my name.
Wanting to show you everything,
or to see what I became.

I want to be happy with who we are and what we have,
but it doesn’t matter anymore.
I learned to be silent about things,
now I’m disliked therefor.

I guess I’m terrible,
sometimes I hate myself for all I do.
But I know you will stand behind me,
dad, I really do miss you!

Torn by my own feelings,
I crawl between the narrowing walls of desperation.
Feeling the heat of the ceilings,
I give up and cry out in frustration.

Losing myself in this war,
I’m looking for a place to hide.
Trying to remember who we are,
I’m attempting to recall the moment I died.

Messing up my remaining common sense,
I’m figuring out what to do.
Approaching the end without any defense,
I want you to know my last thoughts will be of you.

Fatigue numbs my body,
desperation conquers my mind.
My feelings are cheap and shoddy,
Wish I could leave it all behind…

Tired of waiting.
Waiting for you.
Got myself hating,
whatever I do.

I’ve done my best,
I’ve done all I could.
Apparently, I’m not up to the test.
Lets end this for good.

However, words are words,
and feelings are feelings.
They are like birds,
they both have different dealings.

It’s my strength,
it’s my weakness.
I wish I could,
but I can’t,
give up.

You’re still on my wall,
in my thoughts everyday.
Like to speak to you again,
knowing that day will come in some way.

It’s even harder these days,
with all those joyous faces around me.
I’d like to know what you’re thinking,
is there something you want me to see?

Everyone makes mistakes,
even I do, I have to admit.
But I will keep the promis I made,
even if you can’t remember it.

I will see you in the future,
love to talk to you someday!
You will always be there in my past,
you will never fade away.

Nobody knows how I feel.
Nobody understands what I want.
Nobody gives what I desire.
Nobody satisfies my longings.
Nobody takes what I give.
Nobody hears what I say.
Nobody enjoys my prescence.
Nobody accepts my embrace.
Nobody returns my affection.
Nobody endures my touch.
Nobody listens to my heart.
Nobody sees who I am.

Again, you’ve got me in a headlock.
I made a mistake by taking a step back.
Now I’m fading away into the black,
and my heart is sinking like a rock.

You act like I’m no one.
An ignorant fool.
Your behavior is to cool.
It’s like you wish I was gone.

I don’t know what went wrong,
or if this will be allright.
It’s keeping me up all night,
so I hope this won’t take to long.

Please let me know if I’m mistaken,
cause I’m not sure anymore.
I’m totally lost on this dance floor,
I don’t want to feel forsaken.

Outside, it’s so cold.
Snow is falling down and the time is on hold.

The pavements are white and the streets are frozen solid.
Traffic is chaos and the streetlights are dimly lit.

I’m staring through my window where the last leaf swirled.
A perfect description of my world.

Cold shivers are creeping up from behind,
and in the chaos I’m trying to make up my mind.

The grey light reflects my mood.
I’m dreaming of leaving this place for good.

Go to a place far way,
where it’s nice and warm and nothing is astray.

A place with no time and no stress.
I would leave without a second guess.

But now I’m sitting here with my story untold.
Inside, it’s so cold.

Doubts.
Always there.
Time is running.
The feeling is there.
Emotions all over the place.
Waiting for that moment.
Will it come?
Who knows.
Doubts.

How far can I go?
How long can I last?
I’m taking blow after blow.
They’re coming way to fast.

Bended over in agony,
I reconsider my options.
Love should be a felony.
Who the hell made these adoptions?

I’m reaching the end of the line.
I can’t hold on much longer.
I’ve reached and fallen off cloud number nine.
And on my way down the panic’s growing stronger and stronger.

Will I be caught?
Or will I smash to smithereens?
In a moment of a thought,
you can be erased from all screens.

Can’t make up my mind.
I’m sorry to disappoint.
You’re all to kind.
But I’m reaching my breaking point.

Taking a great risc,
diving deep into the sea.
Act like someone else,
never being me.

How can I ruin someones day?
why listen to all the crap I say?
I know I have no live,
but I want you to survive!